Love is an endless act of forgiveness
by fluffyfinchelcake
Summary: “I asked for the divorce, Mer. I did! I left and I broke his heart. Im not supposed to be the one who isn’t able to move on.” A/I future fic in two parts. Rated M. How I imagine the show could end for these two.
1. PART 1

WRITER: Emma // BrightYellow

FANDOM: Grey's anatomy

PAIRING: Alex Karev & Izzie Stevens

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: Reed, Meredith, mentions of Derek

RATING: It's rated M because it involves harsh language and sexual content. Please respect this.

DEDICATION: Dedicated to **Nilly**, **Dani**, **Mysha**, **Nadi**, **Sandi**, **Nati** & **Mai**.

A/N: Because of all the crap we AIers are going through right now, I thought I would give my fellow shippers a treat. This got much longer than I thought it would, so I split it into two parts. It's dedicated to some pretty girls that love AI just as much as I do. I don't know what I would do without you girls!

So, this is how I think they could end the show for AI. I bet there are several other awesome ways, but this came to my mind and I just had to write it. And when I write, it always gets dirty, but you know that by now. *chuckles* Hope you enjoy!

**PART 1.**

***

The sound of high heels against the floor filled the silent dark house. A shadow of a woman figure danced along the walls as the moonlight gently sneaked passed the protecting glass of the windows. The sound of the heels faded, and suddenly the room was dancing with light.

The kitchen looked just like she had left it. Clean and neat. Almost… cold. No forgotten cardboard boxes of fruit loops on the wooden table. No cookie crumbs on the counter. No piles of dirty dishes in the sink.

Somehow, these facts seemed to bring sadness to her dark eyes. The heels echoed thought the room as she walked over to the counter.

She poured her self a glass of red wine, and lifted it to her full lips, taking a long sip. Putting the glass back down, she gently worked her feet free from the high heels, before she walked across the room. She drank some more wine as she stared out through the window at the dark night.

The house was so quiet. Suppressing a small sniffle, but failing, she felt a cold chill go through her body. Watching her reflection in the glass of the window, only served to make the tremble in her body increase. Her hands were shaking as she put the glass down, before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as to calm her self down.

"You're done crying over him."

Her quiet demand filled the silent room, bringing some of the coldness away. Wrapping her right arm around her self, her left hand raised to run along both cheeks, removing any trace of tears that may have remained.

"You claimed the divorce. You left him."

The thickness that filled her chest showed that the words she had spoken didn't help her situation. Not at all. Actually, it only made it worse. Looking up at her reflection, a pair of tear filled eyes stared back at her.

"It's your fault."

***

Gently folding the small shirt before placing it on the small pile next to her, Meredith raised her head. Concern filled her eyes as she watched her friend who sat across the room, folding one of her husband's shirts with a distant, sad look on her face. Izzie placed the folded shirt neatly on top of the small pile of folded clothes, before reaching for a pair of tiny socks.

"What's wrong?"

Meredith addressed her question gently, while she accepted the socks from Izzie's hands and placed them on the pile of miniature clothes. She knew better than to push. If Izzie wanted to talk, she would talk. It was usually getting her to stop talking that was the problem.

"Nothing."

Izzie's replay was a mumble, as she once again was concentrated on folding one of Derek's shirts. "This one is nice."

Rising her eyes to look at the piece of clothing, a smile tugged at the corners of Meredith's lips. She sure had great things to relate to that one shirt.

"I got him it last year. He wore it on our anniversary," her smile took another form as memories of the night caught up with her, "It was an amazing night…"

Making a soft grimace, but not being able to keep from smiling, Izzie threw another pair of socks in her friend's face. "Eww."

Coming back to reality, Meredith giggled and folded the socks softly before she turned to face Izzie completely. Taking a look at her, she knew she had reason to be concerned.

Izzie hadn't been very, Izzie like, lately. The usually happy and bubbly person she had come to love seemed to have lost her glow. Loosing her fiancé and being diagnosed with stage four Melanoma may have shaken her, but she had still kept the bubble that made it impossible not to admire her. Now however, the bubble seemed to have burst, or was at least close to the edge. Meredith would lie though, if she said she didn't know what had caused it.

"What happened?"

Izzie fingered on the collar of the dark red shirt she still had folded in her lap, her eyes dropping to the soft fabric. She closed her eyes and swallowed the slight lump that had formed in her throat.

"That guy at the cafeteria asked me out again, and I guess I just felt… Lonely. So I said yes."

"David? He seems nice."

Izzie tilted her head upwards, smiling sadly as her eyes met Meredith's. "He is nice. He picked me up in his car and drove me to this really nice restaurant. He even gave me flowers. Bright yellow roses though, which I hate, but still."

"That's nice." Meredith agreed, encouraging her to continue.

Izzie's eyes dropped downwards again, and her shoulders sank slightly, "It was going great, and I was having a really good time, when… When I saw him."

There was a moment of silence between them, but with no questions to ask. Meredith didn't need to ask who 'he' was. She had a pretty good idea, which prompted her to stay silent and let Izzie tell the story in her own time.

"He was with _her_, obviously. They got a table a bit away from ours. I was close to asking David to fix us another table, so I wouldn't have to…"

The sentence faded out, and she shook her head with a small painful laugh, still keeping her eyes down. Meredith nodded a little, giving her the assurance that she got it. Swallowing hard, to fight the lump that had only increased, she continued.

"He never took me out to dinner… That was the only thing I could think about. That he never did that with me."

"So, what happened?"

Looking up at Meredith, Izzie smiled sadly, her eyes shinning from tears. "I couldn't do it, Mer. I couldn't sit with David and have him there with _her_. I just… Couldn't. So I left."

Meredith reached out and placed her hand on top of Izzie's. "Im sorry, Iz."

"_I_ asked for the divorce, Mer. I did! _I_ left and _I_ broke his heart. Im not supposed to be the one who isn't able to move on."

Feeling the tears on her cheeks, she couldn't keep the sob from leaving her slightly trembling body. "But when I see him, with _her_… It hurts, Mer. It hurts so bad."

The last words came out weakly as she started to cry, and her head fell to Meredith's shoulder as she moved in to comfort her.

***

Closing the door to the bedroom, he leaned heavily against it, releasing a deep sigh. Running a hand through his short cropped dark hair, he came to lean the back of his head against the door as he opened his eyes.

The king sized bed in the middle of the room was pretty sloppily made in light blue sheets, reminding him of the colour of the scrubs he used to wear. And not in a good way. The closet across the room from him was half open, and most of its contents were spread over the floor beneath it. The man he had been in the past wouldn't have reacted to the mess. Hell, he would probably have found it a turn on. Chicks who dared to get messy, usually put out easier.

But the man he was now, looked at the mess with an irritated frown. He was sure as hell not gonna pick it up though. He hadn't lost that much of his pride.

"Alex, Im on the phone with my mom, and she wants to know if you are coming with me to them this weekend."

Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily. Fuck. He had forgotten about going away to Reed's parents for the weekend. He had only been there a couple of times before, and it hadn't been what he would call, fun.

"Sorry babe, gotta work this weekend."

He called back, and pushed away from the door to walk across the room while he was taking his watch off. That wasn't entirely true. As an attending in peds, he had a pretty free schedule, and he could have probably asked Arizona for a couple of days off. Especially since he was one of the hardest working attendings on the floor.

But since Seattle Grace and Mercy West had parted again a couple of year back, Reed wasn't able to be as involved in his work as she used to be. Which he was thankful for, and it made him feel a little bad.

It wasn't that he didn't love her. Because he did. She had grown on him, and she had been a great support throughout his divorce. Without her, he probably wouldn't have made it. She'd picked up the pieces that Izzie had shattered.

He felt a pain in his chest as he thought of his wife. Ex, wife. He had actually done pretty good, avoiding thinking about her the first couple of years after she left him for real. Mostly, it had been because of the anger. He had been able to suppress the sorrow with anger. Anger at her for ditching him like she didn't give a shit in him. Anger at him self for letting her get under his skin, for letting him self trust her.

He had started sleeping with Reed shortly after the divorce was finale, to show everyone he was fine.

"Except you weren't fine."

He muttered to him self, removing the shirt he wore before dumping it on the bed as he walked passed it. He was over at the closet looking for a clean t-shirt, when he heard the door open. He continued to go through his clothes like he hadn't reacted, but he could feel her eyes on him.

"My mom says hi."

Her voice was small and kinda baby like. Frowning, he wondered why he never had noticed that before.

"Yeah, sorry I can't come."

He said, his voice slightly distant, still with his back to her. What the hell did you need to do to get some clean t-shirts!?

"No, it's fine. Work comes first."

She approached him gently, and he stopped looking as she paced her hand on his back. Turning around to face her, he found her looking at him with an odd look on her face.

"What?"

Her lower lip sneaked in between her teeth and she bit it gently. There was clear hesitation in her eyes and her breath trembled slightly. "Look, I just need to know something."

Crooking one eyebrow, Alex crossed his arms over his bare chest, looking at her for her to go on. She seemed to take a deep breath, before she looked him in the eye. "Are you still in love with her?"

Alex froze slightly, the features of his face tensed and his jaw twisted. "What the hell, Reed! We've been over this, and I told you to drop it!"

"That is not an answer, Alex! You're avoiding! I can't believe, after all these years, you still can't say you don't love her!"

Sighing, he softened a little. "Look, there is nothing going on between me and Iz. And even if it was, Im over her. We're divorced."

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Im with you," he said, hoping his voice and eyes were as reassuring as he tried them to be. Reed looked up at him, still slight uncertainty in her eyes. "Tell me you don't love her anymore."

He rested his forehead against hers, bringing her closer him. Looking into her eyes, he nodded a little.

"I don't love her anymore."

***

"I still love him."

Staring down at the piece of stone on the ground in front of her, Izzie sniffled, her eyes fighting tears. She gently lowered so she was kneeling by the stone, and placed the small bouquet of lilies on the ground by its feet. Looking back up at the stone, she let out a small sob.

"I still love him, and I don't know what to do. Please George, tell me what to do."

The last sentence was a pleading whisper. A cold wind went by, making her shiver slightly and wrap her coat closer around her.

"I feel so lost. It's at times like these that I miss you the most, you know. You always listened to my problems, no matter what they were. And you always had something great to say that made me feel better. I need some of that now, George. Please."

She reached out and traced the engraved letters of his name on the stone, smiling a little. "Your stupid friend could really use some advice here."

When everything remained the same, she lowered her head, another tear running down her cheek. She didn't even bother to stop it.

"He will never forgive me… I don't even deserve to be forgiven."

Her eyes rose and she watched a family that walked by, two adorable kids running around their parents. Her heart ached, and she looked back at the stone.

"I want a house with a swing set at the back, a puppy and children. I want a family. And I…"

She looked back up at the couple, who exchanged a quick kiss. Feeling her eyes burn with tears, her face fell as she quietly spoke the words that came right from her aching heart.

"I want them with Alex."

***

She found him by the bar, nursing a beer. At first, she hesitated. They hadn't been the greatest of friends since the divorce, so who said he wouldn't move the second she sat down. The easiest thing would probably be if she just picked a table across the room. But right now, she needed to hear his voice, even if it would be while having him yelling at her. She would take her chances.

"Is this seat taken?"

She silently begged him to say yes. Hoped with all she had that _she_ wouldn't just be at the bathroom to return in a minute.

"Not that I know of."

The response was short. There was a coldness in his voice that made her heart sink a little bit more. Soon it would be in her stomach, because of all pain she was feeling lately. Recovering, she gently took a seat next to him, shrugging of her coat. The corners of her lips lifted in as small smile as the bartender approached them.

"Izzie! I was wondering when you would drag your ass back here."

Joe said with a smile, leaning over the bar to give her a friendly hug. Settling back down on the stool, Izzie smiled, feeling a little better in the kind bartender's company. He seemed to have that effect on everyone.

"So, a vodka tonic for the lady?" He smiled when she nodded, before he took a quick look at her ex-husband who was playing with the now empty bottle, his jaw tense, with usually meant he was in a bad mood. "Another beer, Alex?"

As Joe went off the get their drinks, Alex tilted his head slightly, looking at the woman next to him. She was leaning her chin in the palm of her hand, a sad look on her pretty face. She was as beautiful as she always had been; witch left him with a slight lump in his throat. He looked back down at his hands.

She could feel the air between them thicken, making it harder to breathe. She knew he was angry. She knew if because of the tenseness of his shoulders, the twisting of his jaw. She knew how to read every emotion he may feel. After having been his friend, girlfriend and wife, she knew. He may have not thought she was paying enough attention to him to notice, but he was wrong. She knew him, better than anyone.

"I went to see George today."

Her voice was quiet, just loud enough to reach the ears closest to her, witch were his. None of them ever really spoke about it, but they had all gone to see George their faire share of times. Even Alex had gone by the cemetery once, around the time of the divorce. Izzie and Meredith had tired to go by as often as they could, but it rarely became more than twice a month. Plus, after having been away for so long, Izzie owed him some time.

"I think Grey was there last week. Cleaned up and stuff." Alex murmured, taking a sip of his new, fresh beer. Izzie let out a quiet sigh of relief. What they were doing now was the closest to normal communication they'd had since she left him, almost 3 years ago years ago.

"That's good." A small smile teased over her lips, "Being a mother has really got to her."

Alex smiled a little. "Yeah. Dude, she's even learning how to cook now. Me and Reed had dinner with them a couple of weeks ago. Actually not that bad."

At the mention of the other woman, Izzie's smile faded and she looked down at her glass, swallowing. They were quiet for a while, both slightly uncomfortable.

"Alex…"

She said his name quietly, raising her eyes to look at him. He looked up from the bottle, and for the first time in a long time, their eyes met. He saw sadness and longing. She saw uncertainty and a small hint of the hurt she had caused. And, looking deeper into those beautiful hazel eyes, she could swear she saw some of the warmth his eyes had been filled with in the past. The warmth that had told her that she was the one for him.

Blinking to keep her eyes from filling with tears, she asked for the answer she dreaded the most, in a soft whisper.

"Are you happy with her?"

***

She had no right. She had no right coming into his life again, and ask him something like that. She had broken them up. She had asked for the divorce. He had loved her more than anything, and even though she'd hurt him, he had known he would never want to lose her. That he'd fight for their marriage with all he had.

But it hadn't been enough. And when she had left him, he'd felt like he had nothing left. He was empty, and it took him longer than he had wanted to realize to get over it. Honestly, he had never gotten every piece of him self back. And now it seemed like she wanted back in his life and he didn't know what to do.

When it was about his ex wife, he hardly never knew what to do with him self. It was like she woke up a whole other part of him that no one else could touch. And it frustrated him that after all these years of being apart; she still was able to wake it up, just by one simple question.

Slamming a chart down on the desk at the nurses' station, he started to scribble on it, an angry frown in his face. Because he was angry. Or at least used the anger as his prime feeling to not have to think about the other things he was feeling at that moment.

"Hi. Didn't you just get off?"

He looked up, meeting a pair of confused but greeting, green eyes. He looked back at the chart, sighing a little. It was proven to be impossible for him not to talk to Meredith about his problems. She was the closest he had to a real friend, and she had been there for him through the divorce and the time after. She was the one who had watched him break down. She was the one he'd yelled at. She had taken it all, just so he would release it. Be able to move on.

"Iz asked me if I was happy with Reed."

"You talked to Izzie?" Meredith asked, blinking in surprise. He didn't blame her. The first two years after the divorce he had refused to even mention her name. Only Meredith knew though, that it had been because it hurt too much. And since she returned, 6 months ago, he hadn't spoken a word to her. He nodded, his jaw twisting slightly.

"What is her problem? She has too much pride to see the husband _she_ dumped with someone else? She wants me to be chasing her for the rest of my life!?"

"It's not like that Alex, and I think you know that."

"Then what is it like!? What does she want?"

Alex asked, his voice turning desperate and he searched Meredith's eyes for an answer. Meredith closed the chart he held in his hands and handed it to a nurse who was watching her exchange with interest. Disappointment coming over her face, she walked away to put the chart on its right place. Turning back to look at Alex, she reached out her hand and placed it on his arm gently.

"I don't know. Now, go home."

***

The house was quiet and empty as Alex closed the front door behind him. Remembering that he was supposed to have hurried home after work to see Reed off before she went to her parents, he muttered the small curse. She was probably pissed, but right now, he had bigger concerns. Flicking the light on in the kitchen area, he served him self a beer from the fridge.

Turning the TV on, he sat down on the couth in the living area, sighing. He turned on ESPN and lifted his feet up to rest against the small table in front of the couth.

_He felt a smack against his leg and he lifted his eyes of the TV, meeting a pair of dark, determined ones. "Take your feet of my table, Mr Karev."_

_A small grin grew in his face, and he let his feet remain on the table, making Izzie glare at him. _

"_Alex." She said his name in a warning tone, only serving to make him chuckle. "What will you do to me if I don't, Mrs Karev?" _

_One eyebrow __rose and he shoot her a seductive grin. He could see her trying to suppress the giggle, her eyes turning playful. "Well, take your feet of the table and I'll show you."_

_She giggled as he did as he was told, before pushing her down onto her back on the couth, his body hovering over hers. "You're so easy." She said softy, playing with the hair at the back of his neck before pulling him down to her._

Slowly taking his feet off the table, he swallowed sadly, before taking a long gulp of the beer. Things had been so great. For the first time in his life, he had finally been happy. He had meant it when he told Shepherd that Izzie was the one good thing that had ever happened to him. And then she ended up being the worst.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality, and he blinked in surprise and looked down at his watch. 11AM. Pretty late for a visitor. He stood up and left the living room. Reaching the door, he didn't mind checking who the person was; he just simply opened the door.

"Please don't slam the door in my face."

He swallowed hard as a lump formed in his throat, staring at the woman before him.

***

**CONTINUED IN PART 2.**


	2. PART 2

**PART 2**

*******

Izzie sniffled softly, looking at him with glassy eyes. Her hair was in a mess because of the weather, and her makeup had formed light shades of black underneath her eyes. Her body was trembling slightly; partly because of the cold, but mostly because of the rush of emotions that were going though her body.

"I know that I am the last person you want to see right now, but please. Let me explain."

She could see that he was fighting against letting her in or closing her out. She had seen that look in his eyes before, and she felt an ache in her heart. It was her fault that he wasn't sure he could trust her. She had broken the trust that he had given her. As hard as it was for him to let someone in and trust them, he had done that with her. And she had let him down. She didn't deserve his trust, but god, she needed it.

Swallowing, she lowered her eyes, remembering that he didn't live alone.

"If she's here, I understand…" She said quietly, trying to keep the tears back. He had moved on, and she had to respect that. Even though she still loved him. Or maybe because she still loved him. She wanted him to be happy, no matter what that meant for her self, which was one of the most unselfish things she had ever done for him.

"She's with her parents in New York."

She looked up at him, and met a torn gaze. She could see the part of him that wanted to let her in. The part who still hung onto what they had shared. But she could also see the part of him that was too hurt. Too angry. The part of him that she knew would never disappear.

"What are you doing, Iz?" His voice was low and she saw pain flash in his eyes, "You got what you wanted. I signed the papers. I… I moved on."

The last words stung. She felt the air go thicker, making it harder to breathe. Closing her eyes, she let out a small sob. "I know," she whispered, trembling as a cold wind went by, lowering the temperature of the salty tears that ran down her face, "I know that's what I said I wanted then…"

"Don't."

Her eyes lifted to meet his, startled by his snap. His eyes had turned darker, and the hurt and angry part of him seemed to have won the battle. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what?" Her voice got steadier, and the air cleared a little around her. He had the right to be mad, sure he did, but he didn't need to snap at her. In that case, she had the right to defend her self.

"Don't regret it. You have no fucking right to regret it! You broke us up. You left me!"

"I know, alright! Don't you think I know that it's my fault!? I have to live with my mistake, everyday!" She saw something flash in his eyes, and she felt the tears burn. "Yes, Alex, a mistake. The worse mistake of my life!"

A thick silence fell over them. Alex stared at her with a look on his face that she couldn't really read. He looked angry, but it wasn't just that. Just as she was about to open her mouth again, he started moving. Before she knew it, two strong arms encircled her body and pushed her up against a firm body.

His lips were softer than she'd remembered, and a shiver raced through her as he parted her lips against his. He tasted of beer and chocolate muffins, the kind they had at the hospital cafeteria.

Placing her hands against the back of his neck, she pushed his face closer against hers. He responded by kissing her harder, while pressing her body up against his. Her back arched as she tried to be as close to him as possible, her arms wrapping around his neck.

The kisses were hungry and passionate and their tongues continued to war until the lack of oxygen became too big and they had to break apart to catch their breaths. Breathing heavily, Izzie looked up to stare into his eyes, that were dark of desire and anger. She didn't have time to focus on the angry part as he lowered his lips to her neck.

She felt warmth form in her belly as his hot breath and soft kisses started to caress the side of her neck. His teeth gently nibbled on her earlobe and she whimpered faintly, hugging him closer to her. He continued to kiss, lick and bite at her sensitive skin until she was moaning his name.

Bringing her into a deep kiss, he passionately backed her up against the wall, fitting his body tight against hers. They broke apart, both panting heavily as they removed her top before Izzie yanked his shirt over his head. Pressing her lips against his soft ones, she started to run her hands down every freckle of bare skin she could find.

She memorized the firmness of his chest, the hardness of his shoulders and arms, the smoothness of his back and the fact that his warm skin against hers aroused her even further. His palm closed over one breast and she murmured his name softly against his lips. She pulled back and looked up at him.

"Alex…"

"Don't talk."

He murmured, before closing his mouth over hers, his fingers working her pants open. She sighed into the kiss and fallowed his lead, tearing at his pants.

A small gasp left her lips as he picked her up in his arms, up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist and rested her arms around his neck while she leaned in for another kiss. He kissed her back, his tongue running slowly along her teeth, making her shiver in his arms.

Her breathing slowed when she felt his hard erection against her inner thigh, and soon against her wet entrance. He looked into her eyes as he pushed forward, entering her. All sad thoughts about the still hurt and firm look in his eyes disappeared as he buried him self deep within her, earning him a moan of pleasure.

There hadn't been time for any relationships for her when she was away. And secretly, she hadn't wanted any. She had known that she would just compare them to the man who was currently nuzzling her neck, and he always won. Sure, she'd had some sex, but nothing amazing. Nothing like what he made her feel.

Rocking her hips against his, she begged him to hurry up, to thrust harder. She needed release. She needed to feel the wonderful connection she always felt when they came together. They were both so stubborn and wanted to take the control, which often resulted in them reaching climax together.

"Oh god…" She moaned, arching her head back as he pushed her over the edge. He fitted his face into the crook of her neck and grunted as she rode out her orgasm, letting him self go inside of her.

She rested her face against the side of his neck as she tired to catch her breath, her body relaxing in his arms. His heavy breathing was hot on her neck as he placed light kisses against her skin, calming them both down a bit. Her legs felt weak and unsteady as he sat her back down, and she kept her arms around his neck as support. Pressing her nose against his ear, she closed her eyes.

"That was amazing."

Her voice was quiet and thick with emotion and she brought her arms closer around him. Feeling his body stiffen in her arms, she pulled back enough to meet his gaze. What she saw made her heart that had been beating rapidly for the last five minutes, sink. And if his eyes hadn't caused the ache in her heart, his next words did.

"This should never have happened."

He backed away, and Izzie felt as if he took a part of her with him. She suddenly realized how cold she was, and it felt ridiculous to be standing naked before him, which also was ridiculous since he had seen it all many, many times before. But the way he seemed almost disgusted with him self for what just had happened, made her lower lip tremble.

"But, Alex…"

"Put on your clothes and go, Iz." He said lowly, turning away from her as he closed his pants. His muscles were tense and she could see the twist of his jaw. He was pushing her away. He knew he wanted her, but he didn't want to get hurt again. It had to be that, because he was the one who had started it all. He was the one who kissed her.

"We should talk…"

"I said put on your freaking clothes and get the fuck out of here!"

He yelled, turning to give her a strong glare. Her eyes burned with tears and big lump formed in her throat, almost making it impossible for any air to get through. She didn't say anything this time, only bended to pick up her clothes.

She got dressed quickly, not caring to dry the tears that ran down her face. He didn't notice, nor would he probably care. Without saying anything more, she almost ran out of the house.

It wasn't until she was sitting by the wheel in her parked car that she released the pressure in her chest and sobbed heavily in her hands.

***

"You hurt her."

Alex looked up from his sandwich, meeting Meredith's gaze. He lowered his eyes when she sat down across from him with her lunch. "She told you what happened?"

"She called last night. She was completely broken up, Alex. So whatever you did…"

"She didn't tell you?" Alex asked, his voice laden with surprise. When Meredith shook her head, he put down his sandwich and swallowed.

Of course he felt bad about how harsh he had been to her last night. He knew he had been a jerk. But it wasn't worse than anything she had done to him.

He had promised him self, after the divorce, to move on. Had told him self she was no good, that she would never love him as much as he loved her. And then last night came, and he had let his feelings take over. And that pissed him off. He didn't like to feel out of control, but around Izzie, he always lost control of him self.

"I know you're hurt, Alex." Meredith said gently, looking at him from across the table, "And you know that we all are on your side. You have the right to be angry, trust me, I get that. But people make mistakes, Alex."

"She left me, and then only came back in time enough to make me sign a divorce. And now she's expecting me to believe that it all was a mistake? She's expecting me to take her back like nothing happened?"

"She wants you to forgive her. She's not the same person that left you Alex, and I think you know that too."

A silence fell over them as Alex didn't respond. He pushed his plate away and sighed heavily. He knew she was right. Somewhere along the cancer and loosing her job, the Izzie they all knew had kind of disappeared and gotten replaced by a darker, different person.

He had felt it too, of course he had, she was his wife. Even before she had left him the first time, he had started to feel a worry within him. Like he was going to lose her. Touching her hadn't been the same. She hadn't been the same.

Last night, he had seen that look in her eyes. The look that told him she was there. The real her. But it had been until he kissed her that he had been sure. She was back. Looking up, his eyes filled with sadness, and his voice was low.

"You really think this is her?"

Meredith nodded, chewing her salad slowly. Swallowing, she smiled a little. "I know it's her. You know how?"

Alex looked at her blankly, and Meredith reached out and placed her hand on top of his. "Because all she's begging for is her ex husband's forgiveness."

***

"Im sorry."

His voice was low and sent a shiver racing down her spine. She swallowed and rested to the door she'd opened a couple of seconds ago. Lowering her eyes, she shook her head.

"You don't have to…"

"Yes I do. I shouldn't have been such a dick."

Looking up, with slightly glassy eyes, she offered a weak smile. "You wanna come in?"

He seemed to hesitate, but then nodded, gently walking passed her. She closed the door gently behind her and turned to look at her ex husband, who took in his surroundings with a nervous look on his face. Resting back against the door, she gently chewed on her lower lip.

"Why are you here?" He turned and looked at her, "I mean, you were so angry…"

"Look, I still don't get it, Iz. I still don't get why you left. I still don't understand why you wouldn't talk to me. But I… I just know that I miss you. I may not trust you, but Im so sick of hating you. I don't want to do that anymore."

Izzie swallowed, blinking the tears that had formed in her eyes. "Im sorry I gave you a reason not to trust me. And Im sorry about last night. If I hadn't come over…"

"Don't." He said, his voice gentle, "Im not sorry about what happened. It wasn't right, but I don't regret it."

Their eyes met for a long moment. "What about her?"

Izzie asked quietly, a small sense of guilt coming over her. She may hate the other woman a lot, but she still didn't deserve this.

"She won't find out." Alex said simply, shrugging. Izzie blinked, surprise shinning in her eyes. "You aren't gonna tell her?"

A light frown came over Alex's face as he looked at her. "I wasn't planning on it. If I do, she'll dump me."

It was like a kick in the gut. The warmth she had started to feel seemed to freeze and realization dawned on her. He wasn't going to break up with Reed.

Alex searched her face, confused over the change in her eyes and the way her face got paler. "What?"

"I… I thought…" She didn't end her sentence, looking away in embarrassment mixed with disappointment and sadness. Alex seemed to catch onto those feelings, and hesitation came over his eyes. "Iz… You thought..?"

"It's okay. I just… I didn't know you felt that way about her." Closing her yes, she groaned softly. "Im such an idiot."

Alex was torn. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't an idiot. That he was still in love with her and Reed had just been an occupation. But Reed was sweet. And she had never hurt him, unlike the woman before him. Their relationship lacked of everything really, but it wasn't half as complicated as what he'd had with Izzie. Besides, with Reed, he actually believed her when she said she loved him.

"Iz, I was never the guy you wanted. I was that guy. The guy who always came second. I knew that and I still let it go on, because I loved you enough to look passed that. But… Im not going into that again."

Frowning at how lame he sounded, he shook his head, "I guess I just need to be with someone who doesn't just settle for me."

"That's not true," She whispered, a hurt look in her eyes, "Yes, you were the last one there, and yes, I settled for you. Every other relationship fell away, except from the one I had with you. That's why I married you. Because you were the one. Because I still loved you, even after everything that happened. That's what I wanted to feel for the man I married. Like I could love him forever."

He stared at her, not really knowing how to respond. He had never thought she felt that way. Had always thought Denny was the lost love of her life and he could never live up to that. Her words though, hit home right into his heart. "So you mean…"

"That you were always the love of my life?" She asked, and when he nodded a little, she took a small step closer, whispering her heart filled answer. "Yes."

He swallowed hard, and she could see many emotions in his eyes, as well as the warmth she loved so much. Daring to walk closer, she smiled through the tears.

"I never told you, but when I was at the hospital with Denny, I missed you. I missed you all the time, so I put everything I had into falling for him, just so it would stop. And I did fall for him. But that didn't mean I stopped missing you."

She was so close that their bodies were touching, and she could feel his hot breath caressing her face. Letting her eyelids flutter closed, she breathed in his scent.

"And when I was with George, I thought about you, a lot. Mostly at nights, after he had fallen asleep. And sometimes I fantasised about you while I…"

She didn't finish her sentence, but the way his chest heaved and the look in his eyes as they started into hers, told her he knew where she was going at. Her face lingered close his, and she gently pressed her forehead to his, both breathing a little heavier.

"And while I was away…" Izzie continued to whisper, slightly breathlessly, "The only way I got through sex, was imagining that the guy was you..."

His eyes darkened, meeting her equally desire filled gaze. Their breathing was heavy and the air around them seemed thick of arousal.

"Imagined it was me, huh?" He murmured, his eyes twinkling slightly as he lingered his lips close to hers. A giggle left her lips and she looked into his eyes, nodding softly. "Every time."

He closed the space between them and pressed his lips against hers. Her hands rose and came to rest at each side of his face, her thumb gently tracing his cheek bone. He pulled back and smiled a little as she tenderly traced the line of his jaw with a finger. Wrapping his arms around her body, he brushed his lips softly against hers again before meeting her gaze.

"Show me to the bedroom?"

A bright smile grew in her face as she hooked her arms around his neck, tilting her head slightly to the side, watching him teasingly. "You're not going to lift me up against the wall? Im disappointed."

He grinned softly, lowering his lips to her ear where his next words were a husky whisper. "Let me make it up to you."

Shivering at the way he sent more blood rushing south, she pressed closer his hard body. "First room to the left."

Pulling back from her neck, he leaned in and kissed her again, his kisses soft and sweet. Sliding his hands down her hips, he grabbed her thighs and lifted her up in his arms, much to Izzie's surprise. Her legs hooked over his ass and she held onto his neck tightly, giggling.

"You gotta stop that, or you'll hurt you back." He chuckled and placed another kiss against her lips. "I'll take the risk."

They kissed all the way through the hall, and once they reached the bedroom, Alex pushed her up against the wall next to the door. A soft whimper left her lips as the hard bulge in his pants pushed up against the aching area between her legs.

Her head arched back as he placed hot, wet kisses against her neck, and she placed her hand against the back of his head, pressing him closer to her skin. She let out a faint moan at the sensation of his teeth nipping at her sensitive skin, and she framed his face with her hands, tilting his head so she could press her lips against his.

Sensing her need for him, Alex stumbled into the dark bedroom and over to the bed in the middle of the room. Lowering her onto the bed, he stared down at the beauty that was her. The way her golden hair spread out around her head against the dark red sheets, the way her eyes shone of adoration and arousal. Her lips were swollen from all the kissing and her chest rose and fell in a quick pace. She was perfect. His perfect.

Pulling his own shirt over his head, he grinned softly at her seductive smile before lowering his body on top of hers. Her legs parted and hugged his lower body between them and he groaned quietly at the intimate contact.

The kisses exchanged between them were hot and heavy and Alex's warm hands underneath her top make her moan in his mouth. His palm covered a breast and his finger gently played with her nipple, making the small bud turn hard, increasing the throbbing between her legs.

Panting heavily, she broke the kiss they were sharing and started working her way out of the top while still laying down with his body covering hers. He chuckled softly and let go of her breast to help her, gently removing the top from her head.

He started kissing her neck again, her skin hot and soft against his lips. Slowly, he worked his way lower, and arrived to the swell of her right breast. Letting his lips met her nipple softly, he was rewarded with a weak whimper and Izzie arched up from the madras, pushing her chest closer his mouth. He closed his lips around the small bud, sucking at it tenderly.

Letting it go, he kissed his way passed her chest, his tongue dragging a wet trail down her flat abdomen. He sat back on his knees between her legs, his fingers working with untying her light grey sweat pants.

Izzie moaned as he gently dragged the pants off, taking her panties with them. Her fingers curled in the sheets on each side of her and her hips tensed as she panted, waiting for him. He lowered his mouth and started to kiss and lick the part of her that wanted him the most, and she arched her back as a series of whimpers left her lips.

Two of his fingers slide into her, and started to move in an easy pace, feeding the fire in her lower abdomen. Her thoughts started to leave her head and her body got all warm and fuzzy as she felt her self come closer release. That was why she moaned in protest as he stopped. Chuckling, Alex kissed her softly.

"Not yet." He murmured, and lowered his mouth to her neck again, while she unbuttoned his pants.

Pushing his jeans and boxers down, she took him into her hand and squeezed gently. "Fuck…" Alex breathed, burying his face into her neck. Giggling softly, she ran her fingers along his length before she closed her hand around him again, moving it up and down in a pace that made Alex moan, his hips bucking forwards.

"Iz, you're killing me." He begged, moving to rest his forehead against hers. Izzie smiled, tilting her chin upwards so she could kiss him softly. "You started it."

Grabbing both of her wrists, he moved her hand away from his cock and pinned them above her head, before placing a pair of passionate kisses against her mouth. Izzie's eyes remained closed as his lips left hers, and she gently ran her nose against his, her heart aching of warmth.

"I love you so much."

And for maybe the first time, Alex believed her words were true. Believed that maybe he had been wrong, and Izzie loved him like he loved her. More than anything.

"I love you too."

He murmured against her lips, one of his hands gently cupping her cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing along her upper lip. Her lips gently met his thumb in a soft kiss, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, her mouth covering his.

***

The sound of high heels against the floor filled the silent, dark house. A shadow of a woman figure danced along the walls as the moonlight gently sneaked passed the protecting glass of the windows. The sound of the heels faded, and suddenly the room was dancing with light.

The kitchen looked just like she had left it that morning. A cardboard box of fruit loops on the wooden table. Cookie crumbs from the chocolate chip cookies she had made that morning on the counter. A pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

Somehow, these facts seemed to bring a bright smile onto her already glowing face. The heels echoed thought the room as she walked over to the counter.

She poured her self a glass of fresh water, and lifted it to her full lips, taking a long sip. Putting the glass back down, she gently worked her feet free from the high heels, before she walked across the room, passing a framed picture of a smiling couple on the wall. She drank some more water as she stared out through the window at the dark night.

The sound of the front door closing filled the house. Suppressing a smile, but failing, she felt a warm feeling go through her body. Watching her reflection in the glass of the window, only served to make the smile wider. She put the glass down, enjoying the feel of a pair of strong arms wrapping around her body. Tilting her head, she rested her nose against the stubby cheek, cuddling into his embrace.

"Did you get everything in okay?"

Her soft question filled the silent room, and she smiled as she turned around in his arms. Wrapping her right arm around his neck, she gently moved his face down to hers for a kiss. Pulling back, she looked up at him for an answer.

"Yeah, the crib was a little tricky though. But it's in the hall. It was really nice of mom to send us that stuff." He leaned down and kissed her softly again, his hand coming to rest against the swell of her stomach. "How is my little girl?"

The warmth that filled her chest spread in her entire body, making her eyes shine as she smiled. Every time she didn't think she could feel happier, he reminded her of that little thing, making her life seem brighter. Sending a silent thank you to whoever had gotten Alex to give her a second chance, she looked up at her husband, with eyes that shone of happiness and bliss and answered his question in a soft whisper.

"She's perfect."

***

_**Awww… Yeah, I had to end with preggers Iz. *sigh* Love it, hate it? **_

_**REVIEW! ;)**_


End file.
